Thursday, January 6, 2011

What makes it hard

I'm not teaching strict English or grammar, rather trying to clean up
accents and increase familiarity with farangs. Praise be because we
haven't the language to communicate simple directions so "everyone
line up here" devolves to students timidly sitting back down and me
frustrated to screaming.
Thing is, to get participation up, I do the dog and pony clown show,
but instead of breaking the ice and letting otherwise embarrassed
students join in, it gives the too-cool thirteen year old boys in the
back an opening to mouth off and draw in the thirty or forty otherwise
ambivalent students, and in a blink the class is a carniverous mob.

Welcome to Thailand, right?

Sent from Speedy the ipod.

Enough already!

It used to be that when I would visit my dad in Alaska, we could count on the weather turning rotten, cold, and rainy so the fishing would be horrible.
Sometime back, I was told the rainy season would last until mid December, and by Christmas it would be time to go camping.
Heh.
This morning, I couldn't hear my alarm because the downpour was so loud on nearby metal awnings.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Perfect timing

My Thai teacher was out and I lost my voice in time for the class that first discovered I don't understand the obscenities they yell.  

On integrity

You have grades for me tomorrow, yes?  
Except for the classes that didn't meet while I was testing.
Oh.  I need all the grades tomorrow.  Maybe you see them?
*Them=6 classes that sandwich three days and 2 classes that mysteriously disappeared*
Uh, well, I'll see them, but I teach through the end of the day without a break.  
Maybe you can....
I'll do my best.

Here's the question.  No matter what, they will all be tested and retested and evaluated and reviewed until they pass with a 50%.  How much class is it worth missing?  


Sent from Speedy the iPod

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Comprehension

Funny that the students who don't know Stand Sit Take out your
notebook Copy Say Write or any of the instructions I give in Thai know
enough to make a banner of notebook paper reading "FUCK YOU TEACHER"
it was enough for the kid serving embarrassment duty on the whiteboard
to turn around and walk back to his seat.
The fun part was the pleading and whining walk of shame past 14
classrooms.

Sent from Speedy the ipod.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

More assumptions

Before last night, I would've said that Thais are some of the loudest people in the world in terms of ambient noisemaking. Then I would make the excuse that they have to be with so much background noise, whether in city or country. But then I witnessed an excuse to set off fireworks. Every temple, big hotel, Masonic Lodge, and sexy house had its own display. And most of the adolescents and pre-adolescents on motorbikes had their own drive-by shows, principally of rockets.
It was reminiscent of a shooter video game. And it wasn't even a Thai holiday.
Now I will unabashedly say Thais are the loudest people in the world just for the hell of it, and I will have no qualms about qualifying such a stereotype. It's just a noisy, noisy culture, and whether fireworks explosions or the inability to sit still without drumming on something, a Thai person will always, almost without exception, be actively engaged in making noise.

You would assume that the pictures on bathroom doors would leave zero doubt, especially if there is no writing on the doors. But this is Thailand. Pink is androgynous, and both kneeling cartoon kidlets were wearing pink. Both had their hair pulled back into a knot. Both had on traditional Buddhist getups. It was a matter of some pressing urgency, and I was not inclined to study the pictures in further detail.

You would assume that walking in on someone in the bathroom would leave zero doubt. But this is Thailand. I walked in on a ladyboy primping in the mirror. Which bathroom does a ladyboy use? Does it depend on being a pitcher or catcher? Is there a pitching role for a ladyboy?
These are questions I will have to ask, but that was not the time to be taking time to ask them.

Of course, meeting what appears to be a pretty lady with a baritone voice and saying, "which bathroom do you use?" sounds a lot like one of those times when a Thai suddenly forgets how to understand English.

No Money, No Honey

It's interesting how many men in Bangkok wear this shirt without an apparent sense of irony as they strut along with an arm around a Bangkok Babe. In these more touristed areas, a great many of the interracial couples just make me sad: they're the worst sort of greed stepping in on what could be the best part of humanity.
It does give me an appreciation for living where I do. Somehow, it's nice to see a couple arguing over cleaning products, or to look at someone and think, "wow, that is true love because no way in hell could it be about looks."
I don't fault the ladies, really, especially after seeing the options available to many people in this area/culture. The guys strike me as pretty disgusting, especially as they exhibit no concern for the long-term wellbeing of their honeys. Such a relationship makes a farce of relationships in general and with farangs in particular. And as someone with more than enough complexes and hangups over the complexities, it makes me sad to see someone living a mockery of something so significant when I have utterly failed at it despite earnest attempts, and witnessed the fallout from so many vantages.