Monday, February 28, 2011

On communications

The after-hours call center experience need not be elaborated--we all know the unintelligible voice with a voice-over accent-reducing machine (under optimal circumstances).
Then there's calling an Indian company in India afterhours.
Let's talk about unintelligible. Or not--you can imagine.

What's worse?
After-hours calling a Thai company. India, as a stereotype, is trying to engage in the (English-speaking) world.
Thailand could care less.

WAAAIIIIGHHHHH

On Taxes

The fun part was digging through half an hour of forms building on forms--to fill in this line, fill out form 1116, to fill out form 1116 read instructions for 1116, but to find the information for 1116 fill out form 56, which has a full instruction book requiring another form and another set of instructions...
And then it gets around to it and my foreign tax credit amounts to $25 but is negated because my foreign income--every cent I've made since July--amounts to just over $3K.  

Saturday, February 26, 2011

On Pavement

I've decided that I really do like pavement, especially to walk on.
A walk in the park convinced me.

It's a few hundred square km and evidently quite old, but as things work here, it's been updated and renamed and rededicated (I almost said rechristened but that just doesn't work here) at a number of significant points of local history, so its current incarnation is not that old at all.
Regardless, it serves mainly as a swamp behind the school.  It would be fascinating to see from the air, as there are a number of canal/channel/finger lakes that fester and stagnate under a bizarre series of ever-silent water pumps hooked to half-metre pipes that run from one channel to the next.  I have no idea if there's a natural flow connecting the channels or if they're subsequent layers of backups, but for all practical purposes, they are now breeding grounds for stench, waterplants, mosquitoes, stench, Thai giant catfish, stench, more mosquitoes, and a species of carp that looks like a drunken accident between a giant catfish and a sturgeon.  (Which happens to be on the lunch table a number of times every week, and I do not think about the slogging fishermen casting nets in the slop.) And maybe one day they'll have pumps to alleviate some of the runoff issues that flood the city for a few months every year.
However it plays out, the park has levies topped with trails and connected with rusted-through bridges.  I was on one of the bridges, looking at the water and trying to figure out its consistency--I'm tempted to reference school canteen pea soup as both the swamp water and cafeteria offering look just slightly too watery to support a spoon but with the underlying risk of your spoon disappearing either to corrosive or exuberantly predatory forces as soon as it's perceivable by the surface, but the water is too brown and there are too many textures swirling like the stench wake of a bear walking outside your tent.
And then I was looking at a fish.
Not the usual shadow of a trout or koi pond type apparition, but one of the local giant catfish.  Its head was as wide as my hips and tapered at the same rate as my legs if I stand with my feet together.  Its mass disappeared into the murk, and I was especially happy about that given that I was standing on a rusted-through bridge.
It looked at me for a couple seconds until I got nervous and waved.  With what would've been a flip of a smaller tail turned into a slow-motion almost-breech as the thing disappeared.  And I promised myself to never willingly slip a finger or toe into the water.

Not long after, while on an island in a pond large enough to accommodate paddleboat rentals, something ran across the path.  Something very low-slung and fast and longer than my leg.  It took an extra click to register that I was seeing a real, live, wild version of zoo piece or plastic lizards that had terri/fascinated my childhood.
It was longer than my leg, long enough for its forelegs to be on the grass before its hind legs were on pavement, and had dark bands around its tail.  It lumbered--as with the catfish, it was too big to be called scampering--across the path, through some brush, and straight out a tree leaning over the water.  I could hear it clambering around the branches toward the "top" of the horizontal tree.
Of pressing interest was the sonic similarity between the sounds regularly heard from the brush and trees around the trail and the sounds the lizard made as it ran across the trail and out the tree, and the simple fact that a giant lizard ran out over the water--I would not expect a lizard to corner itself like that.  And how many of the innumerable rustles alongside the trail had been similar critters I would comfortably associate with only from the far side of glass or nightmares.
(Let me reiterate that I am a mountain kid accustomed to grouse exploding from under my feet, bears on the trail, cougar tracks, the occasional close encounter with a frog or night mouse.  Lizards are little horny toads or blue-stripers, and nearly sitting on one is as heart-fluttering as almost stepping on a grouse.  Seeing a coiled up rattler as big around as my arm has been one of my most traumatic hiking stories for two decades.  All of which is to say, I would really rather avoid reptiles.)
Welcome to Thailand--it was a Thai water dragon.

What relief to come across a herd of goats, even if one of the bike-mounted goatherds had a frantic chase to keep the billygoat's horns from my backside.

But that, of course, wasn't it.  There had to be snakes.
It was just a skin, thank goodness.  A dark green/brown skin with a smily face on the back of the neck--one of our local cobras.  And when I held it out, it came up to my chin.
The cobra skin draped over my tuba case
So, like I said, I'm a big fan of nice, wide, paved trails.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Pre-finals wrapup

Enough people stood to gain enough merit from a successful EP Show that they all insisted on weighing in until it turned into a gala debacle that bored the kids to tears and risked the reputations of all involved.
Farang instructors were sent home immediately afterward: Congrats, you made it, now go take a long weekend before finals.
But I had an end-of-day class.
And it's that class, naturally.  The one all the Thai teachers hate for being so unmanageable.
And my Thai teacher called out.
I almost borrowed her switch.
But I didn't.
I would've used it, and I don't want to break that barrier.

The good news is that nobody was injured in the course of the class, and everyone walked out the lighter for it.
At the end, I shot a couple of photos.

Remember: this is one of the nice classrooms, with only 45 kids, windows, and working electricity.


The Thai Effect

I'm two weeks from having boots on Nepalese soil.
I'm not sure when exactly I'll get there though, because I'm not sure how soon I can leave without leaving a job to come back to.  And at this point there's no use worrying whether I leave in 8 or 12 days.
There was a bank error and money I thought was there is not there.
There was another sort of error and my W2 was not shipped, so the backup refund is a hope for retroactivity.
Too bad my vacation time didn't coincide with the finances that initially made me think it might be possible.

The good news is that I have my boots and sleeping bag, shipped from home.  The sleeping bag is vacuum packed with longjohns and wool socks, but I'm too afraid of the mold that grows quicker than cobwebs to open the packaging.
The boots have been through a summer of hiking, a summer of Alaska, a summer in Europe, all the hiking and snowshoeing in between, and have been dormant since I came to Thailand.
Boots are not designed to accommodate such changes as my physiology has undergone.  No mention of such areas of the said physiology as determine the fit of a given clothing item like boots that have been over a thousand miles.
Not that the sweet spot isn't there, it's just that my foot has moved to a different spot.

The other good news is that I have a book with a single-page line map of the places I might stay while on the Annapurna Circuit.
But it sounds pretty easy to find, so I'm planning on buying an actual map once I'm in Kathmandu.  Also a fleece, parka, gloves, hat, water bottle, pocket knife, and medical supplies.

A year ago, such a state would've been distressing.  At least.
Now?  Hell, it's more than a week out, no reason to stress.

On Interviews

Picture the 19th C ornithologist exploring an aviary with a blunderbuss: this is me applying for jobs.
"Livable salary?  Classes under 45?  Atmospheric controls?"  BLAM! Worth an application.

The call came just before midnight.

"Oh, I think it might be an inopportune time to call."
It's just before midnight.
"Well, it's just before 6 in the evening here in Turkey.  Is there a better time to call?"
Anytime after 6 and before 24 hours.
"Then I will call back in 15 hours."
Great.
"And you are still interested in the job?"
At what institution?
"Murrmumahum."
Which?
"Hummurrunum."
Yes.  Of course.
"And how soon would you be able to start?"
Depends upon the conditions of the offer.
"You could be here by the second week of March?"
More like the first week of April.
"Okay, I will call you soon."

Maybe it's not such a bad thing when there's no follow-up call.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Still learning

It gets me, still, that just getting a rise out of someone is such an integral part of this culture.
A couple days ago, walking down the street, I said hello to a student passing in the other direction.  Three steps later, I heard a frantic, "TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER!" so I stopped and turned around.  She waved me to her and said, in a timid voice, "where you go?"
And that's a perfectly legit activity: yell, scream, grunt, and holler until someone looks at you, especially a farang, and then pretend nothing happened.  Or look like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming English truck.