Mc Lovin'

Consider the challenges McD's faces in Asia: meat and potatoes do not a meal make; if it doesn't have rice, it's just a snack.  Besides, 7-11 has sticky-rice "buns" so why can't McD's?  

The endearing part came a couple hours after closing,
when someone passed out at Ronald's feet.

No beef for a goodly chunk of the religious, so you get the Samurai Pork Burger.

No pork for another goodly chunk of faithful, so you get the Spicy McShrimp.

No meat for the local majority, so you get the Broccoli McPie.  

No cheese in the local cuisine, so the cut-rate Chicken McCheese is a hard sell (special McFail?).

No sauce is sauce without chilis and fermenting fish

A local toddler could drown in an actual supersize mug. 

A local tweenie girl eats a kilo of rice with dinner, but a medium order of fries can feed a family of four

You're McDonald's and a window back home, so every expat in the southern provinces is going to come in expecting a mouthful of adolescence back home, and locals just do not understand that it is a MAJOR PROBLEM when the ketchup is the syrupy-sweet local variety, dotted with chili seeds and wafting overtones of fish sauce that was kept in the top-pump dispenser.