A hard turn

So, this afternoon, I received a call that one of my coworkers was at a waterfall, slipped, and was killed and there would be a service of some sort tonight.  

The coworker who died was one of the most gregarious people I've met.  He was responsible for 9 of the 10 social invites I've had (or maybe 10 of the 12), and the hub of a great many of the social events in town, with a circle of friends and cronies spanning two provinces and encompassing this town, the next south, the next two north, and the islands.  

He also said, "I'm hired as a teacher, so I won't suck, but teaching is NOT why I came to Thailand."  I guess the most political way to describe it would be that his Thai life was lived without inhibition, restraint, regret, or disrupted by extended periods of sobriety.  

Really, I have the utmost respect--and not without a degree of envy--for someone who could live so completely and unapologetically.  

There was a gathering of a few coworkers, and I tried to figure out what happened.  

I am sad, of course, that someone would die young.  It is a great loss to the future networks and communities that will not be impacted or created.  

I am also curious what will happen in terms of the farang population--greater observation during excursions?  Greater safety measures--which is to say, rudimentary gestures at safety--at the waterfalls?  Would this blow into a lawsuit or public hoopla over safety or substance or scholastic regulations?  

I'm tempted to believe that the truly Thai reaction would be to sweep it under the carpet so any dealing that has to be done takes place out of sight.  The problem is that he was such a public figure, and his folks are university teachers flying in from Chicago.  

Depending on what happened, it could list any number of directions, so I'm curious how it was handled officially and what is expected tomorrow.

As I said, there was a small gathering of coworkers.  I asked questions as delicately as I could.  

On an outing yesterday, he slipped, fell in, disappeared immediately, and was swept over a waterfall.  It was fairly late, and the search was extended to today.  Yesterday, there were six people total.  Today, the director and his wife, wearing church clothes, were searching.  

I have been scowled at for my absence, and I apologized that only half a dozen of those involved had my number.  

And there will be a service of some sort tonight.  

I asked what might happen tomorrow.  

Explosively inappropriate.

WTF, how am I such a callus Fn so and so that I'm thinking about work after he just died.  

How could I be so uncaring and insensitive?  What's wrong with me?  

Maybe it's a chemical imbalance.  Maybe it's a streak of sadism.  Maybe I'm just a cold and heartless person.  Maybe it's that my grandmother died on Christmas, and there was the issue of what to do next.  Maybe it's that my other grandmother died when I had a quintet performance, symphony performance, recital audition, and thesis revision imminent and I had to figure out what to do next.  Maybe it's that these coworkers watched me drop to 76 pounds without saying, "what's wrong?" or "you okay?" or "how do you feel?" or "is something wrong?" [really-EVER] and I assumed that professional detachment was par.  

Well, no.  Not at all.  

It will be interesting to see what comes.